Put Down the Cape

14 Aug Put Down the Cape

Hey y’all,

Have you ever noticed that with every new stage, a new set of challenges seem to arrive with it? Turns out that whole more money, more problems thing has a bit of truth to it. While it’s not necessarily my cash flow that has increased, I recognize in my life I am living in a new level of richness. As I progress through this new and exciting season I am met with thoughts I didn’t expect and emotions I don’t recognize. I have prayed for everything around me, but there was a time when the navigation of it all made me feel…overwhelmed.

I am fortunate enough to work full-time in a career that demands the very best of me. I’m a proud graduate student of a challenging yet rewarding program. My cup overflows with a support system that I could have never prayed big enough for. I am building legacy. I am growing love. Oh and of course trying to achieve a consistently bomb twist out that lasts beyond a standard 3-4 days. Without a doubt, I am happier than I have ever been. But the responsibility and discipline required of me at this time had been taking a toll on me. I kept feeling the need to turn in my cape for a white flag.

Call a Time Out

 It all came to a head after I lashed out at a loved one over something so small. Seeing someone I truly care about hurt, because I can’t get ahold of what is really bothering me was a wake-up call. I needed a time out. Whether that’s deciding to take a mental health day, finding an empty bathroom stall to release the tears or taking a 20 minute power nap, you’ve got to know when to take a step back.

Being alone with myself to process my emotions is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. I am a person who believes that you can do it all, but I have to be reminded that you can’t do it all at once. You have to look up for strength because if you keep looking out, you’ll lose your balance.

Prioritize Yourself

Mental health is real. You have to fight for yours. With the same intensity you pursue jobs, abs or the perfect Instagram picture, give your needs that same energy. Ask yourself what you can feasibly get done in a day and still have time for yourself. This isn’t just about manicures or shopping sprees (or maybe for you it is) but honestly allowing space for what you need to be a priority. We glamorize superheroes so much that we start carrying over these expectations into our real lives.  We glamorize the hustle and its killing us. It was killing me.

Stop Apologizing

There is so much guilt in saying no, in saying you can’t, in simply admitting that you are not having a good day. I wouldn’t change a single thing in my life, but somedays, it can be a lot. I found myself apologizing for how I felt because I was afraid I wouldn’t seem grateful. Owning that you have a full plate does not mean you are not happy to be eating. In having more in my life I had to remember that also meant more access to the people and resources that were there to help me. You have to trust the people you call your helpmate. Be honest about where you are and what you need.

I started this year with a life motto that I keep going back to. Be here now. Take ownership of the moment. It is not selfish to take what you need from the people who want to help. Be honest rather than apologetic for how you really feel. Be intentional in the time you take for yourself and your needs. You cannot give what you do not have. If you’re empty, all those things that matter to you will start to feel empty too.  Treat yourself like someone you love.

Any great tips for finding and keeping your balance? Drop them in the comments below.