The Middle

20 Jan The Middle

Hey y’all,

So I did a thing. I decided to participate in the life I was living and was genuinely surprised by how much effort it required. I went back to school, I quit my job and I gave up the dream I had for myself to make room for what God has purposed for me. I did a thing ….and then nothing happened. I think they forget to tell you what it really means to follow your calling. This boulder gets placed in your chest and you can’t find any relief until you do exactly what it is your heart is crying out for you to do. It seems poetic, but most of the time it just sucks.

Understanding the Middle

We have to remember that we can’t trust our own eyes. We find ourselves knee deep in a life we don’t recognize, a life that doesn’t look like the dream we were promised and it can causes us to panic. It causes us to doubt. This place of transition or the perceived appearance of stagnation will kill our hope if we let it. Another birthday flies in and out, the calendar announces a new year and you start to believe it’s too late. It is not too late. You haven’t missed it. You’re right there, exactly where you’re supposed to be. The question is what are you going to do with this time? Wanting more does not make you ungrateful. However wasting the middle, means you are wasting your grace. You can’t rush through it. You have to remember that the middle is a part of the dream too.

Surviving the Middle

There are times when I have to remind myself to look up and not out. I had to learn that comparison is a dangerous game. It sneaks in so effortlessly. What started out as a harmless stroll through someone’s social media page will have you forgetting that you’re only watching the highlight reel. You don’t truly know the story because it’s not your story. You can’t compare what you think you see happening in the lives of others to the stage you’re growing through. Your journey is designed with only you in mind. If you’re really going to do it His way, you’re going to have it do it in His time. Get really clear about who you are. Set your heart- set your EYES on where you are going. When I started to realize I would have to leave my job it didn’t make sense to me. I was doing well and really passionate about the mission but I knew I needed to make room for what was coming. I’ve bounced between so many places that the thought of moving on to something else began to ignite old insecurities about my abilities and what I had to offer. Finally I realized that the only thing wrong with me is that I’ve been ignoring my gifts and not being true to who God says I am. I believe what He said about me. It doesn’t matter who else sees it. Inside of me is a kingdom.

Embracing the Middle

You have to make a choice in this. We can’t always control what happens but we have full reign over how we respond. Grow through it. Love through it. Cry through it when you need to. Just be here now. Take it all in. There is purpose in all of it.

Friend to friend, there are moments when I still have to awkwardly and painfully pull myself through. I think the perseverance comes from knowing that I haven’t reached the end. I’m not even close. I’m still in the middle.  I had to quit idealizing what was a place of comfort in order to move into a space without limits. Purpose is uncomfortable. It’s not always easy. I don’t always feel like being patient. However, since the moment I traded in my comfort for my calling, I have finally discovered what it is to feel true peace.

What has your journey been like through the middle? Are you still there? Leave a comment of how you got through, or what you are doing to make the most of this time. I would really love to hear from you!